Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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