Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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