Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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