You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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