his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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