; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
