I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
