I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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