She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
