well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
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i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
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You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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