this just has baby written all over it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
