He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize
