I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
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The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
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I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip