ugly people sure do ruin things
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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