you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.