what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
