so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
