How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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