i permit you to call me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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