It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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