no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
