I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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