That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
