Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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