shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
