I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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