remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
two words...techno handjob
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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