You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
His nipple licking is glorious
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