It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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