K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
