it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
