I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
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