so that wasnt chicken after all
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
