Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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