Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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