plz talk dirty to me
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
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so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
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I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.