whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
you didnt know i had herpes?
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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