Texts From Last Night

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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?

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  (651): How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out? http://tfl.nu/x0y6
  Replies (22) Good night (5186) Bad night (1678)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom

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  (734): Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom http://tfl.nu/itfy
  Replies (48) Good night (22595) Bad night (1427)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.

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  (651): i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/14sr
  Replies (5) Good night (2970) Bad night (907)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.

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  (734): We found a swing set....it's in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/rzxv
  Replies (7) Good night (2375) Bad night (791)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.

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  (317): that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead. http://tfl.nu/rwpy
  Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (1955)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.

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  (518): I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave. http://tfl.nu/ne75
  Replies (2) Good night (659) Bad night (916)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.

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  (774): Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18. http://tfl.nu/z1g3
  Replies (14) Good night (3495) Bad night (766)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it

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  (386): he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it http://tfl.nu/bfv6
  Replies (16) Good night (1955) Bad night (1376)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man

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  (785): apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man http://tfl.nu/lmge
  Replies (5) Good night (1718) Bad night (574)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with

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  (812): There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with http://tfl.nu/wqvq
  Replies (11) Good night (744) Bad night (2662)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways

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  (406): You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways http://tfl.nu/cne1
  Replies (6) Good night (708) Bad night (1336)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.

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  (847): Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high. http://tfl.nu/a6we
  Replies (1) Good night (1192) Bad night (550)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.

  (206): View more from Washington

  I should have never moved out...

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  (773): The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese. (206): I should have never moved out... http://tfl.nu/kyqk
  Replies (1) Good night (466) Bad night (512)
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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.

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  (574): Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn. http://tfl.nu/7jbp
  Replies (4) Good night (917) Bad night (357)
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  (718): View more from New York

  I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!

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  (718): I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID! http://tfl.nu/uzuv
  Replies (2) Good night (346) Bad night (630)

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