i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize