i don't like sucking hair
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
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I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.