We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.