you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
