There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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