I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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