I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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