Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
