you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
