Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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