so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
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