I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
