Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
