How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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