She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
