Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
