I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
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mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
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I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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