They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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