Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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