No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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