Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Randomize