is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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