Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
