i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Randomize
