she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
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