You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
