Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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