so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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