You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
