i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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