don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
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