Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I can't put those talents on a resume
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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