I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
